D.A.D. (Not what you think)


Last night around 10:30 I was stargazing with my new telescope and puffing on a stogie.  There I was enjoying the relaxation of the cool temperatures on this pleasant evening while my little long-haired miniature Dachshund by the name of Stretch, who my wife refers to as the “dumb-ass-dawg”  began to wander out into the darkness of my modest backyard. Unlike the visible flashes of a the wiry-coated and dearly departed Dillon who once pranced to and fro, Stretch is adorned in coal black fur, has 2″ legs, and walks as close to the ground as a centipede, but unlike the aforementioned Jack Russell Terrier, Stretch never strays far away due to his anxiety of separation from his master , thus I never have to worry about climbing fences, trespassing, and retrieving him from a neighborhood yard.  His sense of adventure usually resides faithfully at my feet.

As I was ogling Jupiter’s moons, I heard a blood-curdling cry followed by incessant whimpering. I pointed my flashlight in the direction of the sound and moved cautiously toward the oak tree which stands near the back corner of the yard.  To my horror and immediate worry, I saw my poor mutt curled up as if his 10lb body were broke in two. I moved in closer, shone my light on him, and proceeded to investigate what was troubling him. There he was clutching his left ear with his left hind leg continuing to whelp and my worry graduated to grave concern that a nocturnal vermin bit him or an insect had crawled into his ear drum.  I demonstrated my futility in asking him, “what’s the matter buddy?” knowing full well an articulate pontification of the pain and discomfort he was feeling would never come. My mind quickly raced to the possibilities: 24 hour vets, emergency room, surgery, large amounts of money spent, euthanasia!  “What am I going to do? “, I thought to myself. But then…at the peak of my consternation, I looked down and sighed in relief as my dog was able to free up his toe-nail which had become entangled with his furry ear, no doubt causing him great discomfort. Like an unwilling fisherman, he caught a big one, and I had reached the late-night conclusion that my wife is exceedingly perceptive.

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